What I underwent was hidden in plain sight. It took place in the environment that was created by the very people who displayed conflicting responses when the veil was lifted. Just as the abuse had communal effects, so it had communal causes.
I hear his scream. The scream of little boy who needed his mama, who was lost in the land of her own grief, much like those who inflicted this grief upon her. About a year ago I was sitting in a coffee shop in Old Town Alexandria, VA, staring at a letter I had beenContinue reading “7 Years Later: Living In A Heart Replaced”
This past December I had the privilege of sharing my story with Deacon Kevin Stephenson from the Diocese of Tulsa, Executive Director of St. Augustine Behavioral Health System, and President of Faith Based Films LLC. Listen to my story below!
Childbirth is one of the most joyful and difficult experiences that life has to offer. For certain populations, particularly those with a history of trauma I’ve learned it can be even more complex. So often we read about victims of physical or sexual abuse being especially sensitive to touch and physical closeness. But have weContinue reading “This is what my body was made for: The Redemptive Nature of Childbirth”
After experiencing sexually and emotionally abusive relationships, it seemed like my heart and mind were wired for skepticism and distrust. I kept most in my life at an arms length, revealing only the surface of my emotions and realities of my heart to even those I was closest to. I was comfortable in hiding. ItContinue reading “The Healing a Holy Spouse Can Bring: An Abuse Victim’s Testament to a Christ-Centered Marriage”
I was recently advised by my spiritual director to write a letter to the man who groomed me. What I ultimately wrote was something that I did not foresee. I had never realized, or perhaps let myself realize, how much my teenage self admired and loved the man who ultimately used me for his ownContinue reading “An Open Letter to the Man Who Sexually Groomed Me: Everything my teenage heart couldn’t articulate and my adult-self now can.”
“Do you have any experience?… sexual experience?” I’ll never forget the night I was asked this by a man whose attention I had become emotionally dependent on over the course of the year prior. Not only was this question inappropriate for a middle aged man to be asking a teenage girl, but for me, theContinue reading “To the girl who had her first sexual experience at 12: He cried with you.”
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37 I struggled for a long time to accept the fact that I had developed feelings of emotional attachment to a man who clearly did not have my good or wellbeing in mind. While I was conscious of theContinue reading “Breaking Attachment From Your Abuser”
While I have always identified as being “pro-life,” I struggled with this belief silently for years. I logically understood and could clearly see that abortion ends a human life (all we have to do is open a biology text book to figure that one out), but I found the distressed plea of a mother whoContinue reading “Abortion and Sexual Abuse: How the Pro-Life Movement helped me come forward”
This coming Thursday, November 5, 2020 was the due date for the child we lost, Claire Francis Buzza. I can’t help but mourn that this day is lot different than I anticipated it would be when we found out Claire was with us. In the 7 months it’s been since the day we faced ourContinue reading “On the Day We Hoped We’d See Your Face, We Remember You”